I am Every Woman!

---We need to speak up, raise our voices because what we have to say needs to be heard. Stereotypes must be reversed and our presence rightfully restored. Woman, I will not only speak on your behalf until my mouth runs dry but I will also speak with you, to you and about you. Because you are graceful, you are delicate and you deserve to be you---

God knows that next to mother Afrika, women are the closest favourite to my heart. I love these creatures. I love them all day and I love them all night, I love them intensely and I am pretty sure that one day I will lie in a casket and I will love them right into the afterlife. Women are symbolic of very many things; they are to me what nature is, quiet yet rowdy, mostly unpredictable but somewhat familiar in their presence. Women mean the world to me, they are like the universe in which we attract our fate, they have this undying love that draws no boundaries and they shine bright, like shooting stars.

These are momma natures chosen nurturers whose smiles can heal broken hearts, whose soft caress can abate any physical pain; the words of woman can build just as much as they can damage….which is exactly why I am here, on this page, searching for words that could aptly describe her, words that she may read, understand and safely tuck away into her minds maze. I am here to speak about woman, and to speak to her, I have brought these words along, not only for company’ sake but I am hoping that today we can build. Build through word and literature, through poetical verses and scriptures. I need to build, I want to build and I must start with who I am and who I am is woman. I am every woman, I am my mother, and I am her daughter, a sister, granddaughter, aunt, niece and sister confidante.

I am indeed every woman. I will not tell you that I am Assata, I am Afeni, I am Coretta, Betty and Winnie. I am Graca, I am Harriet, I am Nambitha and I am also Lillian. Hell, I am even Khanyi, I am Nicky, I am Janet and I am Oprah, I exude confidence, sexiness, intelligence and I am perfectly enough for me and to me. I have no fear or worries because societal pressure does not weigh down on me the way it would if I was just one woman, but you see, I am not one woman, I am every woman and I radiate the beauty, the strength and the courage of ten thousand women. I am every single woman that has ever lived and will ever live, I am Eve, I am her last born daughter and I am every woman between this bond.

We are women and therefore our fight shall be for our own. We are women and so where we go titles shall follow, we will be skanks, whores, bitches and ratchets. We will be gold diggers and opportunists, we will also be enablers, naïve and stupid but one thing we will not seize to be is women. And that should be our pride. Being woman is the pride of woman.

And for the longevity of our pride I am here telling you, my fellow earth sisters to woman up. I am here preaching the sidelined principles of feminism that our male dominated society has put on hold while we stay second best. I am here to try and rectify years of second hand oppression. Hear me when I say to you, you are beautiful and you deserve it all, you are Gods design and angelic adorns your being, woman you are powerful beyond measure and your words were designed to build. To build yourself, to build communities and to build our men… the main sources of the pains we endure; the heartbreaks and tear stains we inch through and insecurities we deal with are the very same ones we wake up to cheer on and encourage regardless.

Daughters of the world through, lets re assemble these notions of feminism and fit the pieces how they suit us. They cannot define what we stand for unless they know the pains of stiletto heels and the bunions that come the day after. They cannot dictate to us the terms of our submission unless they can usher life into this world. Until the day they understand the tears we have cried from our joys and pains, the hot flashes, the swings in moods and the ocean like love we possess then they have no grounds on which to spit feminism in the face.

I am by no means undermining the role of men in our lives, but I simply point out that feminism is no more radical than some of the rules of submission we are subjected to. Feminism is entirely healthy and should be encouraged, unless it is then rape culture, women abuse and harassment are issues that we will be fighting ‘against’ for centuries to come. I hate that the concept of such a beautiful term has been stretched out and re-arranged to mean stubbornness, rebellion and insensitivity of women towards the needs of men.

Unitl next post,

Africa Rising, Peace & Revolution...

I Lost my First Love

---When you allow self to go through periods where life schedules rule and ruin the desires of your heart, consequences can only be abrupt and eruptive as is the nature of all chaos. Clutter has a way of making what matters the most seem less important than the debris of confusion it creates---

This year has taught me yet another lesson in life, as we grow into new passions and find new interests, its essential that we cultivate the already existing ones otherwise it would be pointless to have created them to begin with if we are to lose touch with them at the first sign of new loves presenting themselves to us. Hear me out; I’m only trying to make sense of my own state of mind….

The point I am trying to make is that one should never let go of what they truly love and I only dish out this advice to you because I am hurt I have lost my first love. You see I am fickle, indifferent and unsure of self at times, I am a beautiful bottle of confusion. I am not like the kid who grew up knowing exactly who they are and what their purpose in life was. I, unlike that kid chose a path of self-discovery instead of finding myself and with every layer unearthed is a side to me I never thought would exist. It’s an amazing feeling, coming into your own, experiencing life as you once wished you would but it, just like all the good things in life does not come without a little side damage.

Yes I have evolved into a beautiful, intelligent concrete rose, a rose whose curiosity cannot be quenched and therefore continues to tread on a trail of knowledge. I have grown like a yellow rose, stunning; with petals so rich, thick and smooth that I have long forgotten the scratches and marks that saw me grow out of concrete. I have neglected the things that mattered most to me and because of that I have lost my first love. I have traded in the one person that saw me through hell and back for political insight, an inquisitive mind and all kinds of ‘mature acts’. I have turned my back on the one true love who’s words once soothed my lonely heart and wiped away my saddened tears and I have joined movements that force my heart to turn to stone and would curse me if I dared shed a tear. I have become someone else and I am too deep in that I cannot revert to simpler days when it was just me and my first love.

I have gone and gotten educated, tasted the bitter sweetness of intellectual conversing and I have found difficulty in untangling myself out of this maze of high pitched debates and college-y talks so much that I no longer recognize the one that I once truly loved. This person that has taken over and has become the new me has found new channels and avenues when it comes to the people, this person no longer engages with the people like she once did instead she has built a pedestal where she speaks for them and not with them, you tell me what the purpose of speaking on behalf of the people is when you are no longer on the ground listening to what they have to say and what their most pressing needs are.

Today I heard my first love speak, yesterday I almost listened and last week I could only reminisce as he persuaded me back to the love we once had. The thing is I can no longer be bothered, my circles are different now, we speak a whole other language and try I may but the passion is lost and I can’t seem to find it.

I miss this love of my life but somehow our connection is no longer as strong as it used to be, our signals are no longer in par and truth is he has also changed. I can’t find him…yes I am lost in a web of new loves but none match up to this love of mine. We once spoke in similar tones and finished one another’s sentences, we made memories in crowded clubs and sunny parks, we were once inseparable while he taught me everything that I now know.

And its funny how I thought my love was the one who’d started tripping  but I now realize that I am not who I used to be, our truce was to always be rebels but now I’m rebelling a little differently. I’m picking up my voice and I’ve left him somewhere lingering in the background, baited breath, anticipating my return. Whether I will ever return is an uncertainty and with this new found love for ‘things’ who’s to say our union will ever be the same again.   

Even so, I wish back the days when nothing or no one could ever mess with our bond. I have lost my first love and nothing will ever be the same again without their presence in my life. I have stopped listening altogether and even our old conversations don’t boil my blood anymore, I no longer replay them in moments of anger, of happiness, laughter, sadness or even insecurity because I have allowed my new passions to take over.

I Miss Hip Hop and I can only hope that one day we will re-ignite our love because not only did I once love her, I still do but like queen Assata once said; we are grown up now and its all so complicated when you dig someone.  

I Miss You Hip Hop. You are and will always be my first Love.

Until next post,

Africa Rising, Peace & Revolution....