Dear Mr. Boer Man,
I have no business writing this to
you but you see wherever I go I seek peace and maybe, just maybe this may be
some form of closure for me.
Mr. Afrikaaner Man I do not know you, not personally anyway, I only
know of you, I have heard stories of your encounters with my ancestors, many of which have passed on, but I’m sure you would not be bothered much about
that because from what I hear, you have never cared for anyone but yourself. Oh
how selfish you have been made out to be Mr. Afrikaaner Man, I can only hope and pray that the stories I have
heard of you and your people are only that- stories. But still I doubt that
very much.
At this point, I know what you are probably
thinking, die idiot moors my tyd, at
this moment you would rather be in your big ass farm, shouting away at you buss
boys and girls for getting the crop lines all twisted, right? In this instance
you are now turning purple in the face wondering why this letter addressed to
you is in English when it’s not even your first language. Right now you might
be at the brink of tearing this letter away because it has absolutely no
relevance to you, but before you do…
Before you do, let me clarify this…
I do not hate you. I have no grounds on which to hold any grudges, I have no
scores to settle, no reason to seek any kind of revenge, as a matter of fact, I
have no reason sitting here writing this out like you might actually give it
the time of day should it find its way into your arms. Mr. Afrikaaner Man, although I do not hate you, I cannot stand you, excuse
the brutality of my honesty but in this space it is never compromised. My instinct tells me you almost
certainly do not care but somehow you may wonder why I can’t stand you…well for
what may seem like obvious reasons but still, it may not be so blatant to
others.
Mr. Baas Man, you are a cruel
and cold creature. As heartless as they come, you have taken my people and
subjected them to nothing less than animals, made them slaves of your own, you
have robbed my ancestors in broad day light and as if that was not enough, you
went on ahead to ensure that they go through a lifetime of suffering. You have
monopolized this land that once belonged to everyone that was born to it and
now you have made everything your own…you have driven grown men and women out
of their homes and into your backyards, have them working like slaves for close
to nothing. Not only have you ripped grown men of their dignity but you have
also had the satisfaction of stripping them of their cultural pride, their
language and their origins. You have taken my people and programmed them to
think like you, speak like you, be like you and act like you!
Mr. Boer Man, I’m really trying to be politically correct here, to put
things mildly, your aura induces a feeling of great discomfort, you know…one I
would probably get if I were to ever find myself locked in a sty with a bunch
of swine’s. But then again this should come as no surprise to you as you know
all too well about treating my people like animals, your only shock right now
may be why unlike many of them am I not kissing your mighty high, khakhi shorts
wearing buttock.
Fortunately I was raised to respect
those that respect me back and not those that forcefully beg it out of me. I
was not raised to obey bullshit laws without first questioning them, I raised
myself into a brave heart hence I have learned about the struggles of my
ancestors and have felt every last thrash to their flash, every chain that held
them captive and every demeaning phrase you spat out at them, I felt it like I
was there, it hurt my bone, my soul and my core the same way it did them,
probably more so because I can’t take back their suffering, I can't scream on their
part or curse at you in moments of heated rage or angry outbursts. Mr. Afrikaaner Man I cannot do any of that
because I seek my peace, not from you or your people but within myself and in my people. I’m tired of replaying the
scenes of brutality that you exposed them to in my head, I no longer want these
tears rolling down uncontrollably caused by feelings of guilt over situations I
had absolutely no control over. Your past obscenities stop controlling my
thought train today!
Make no mistake, this is no call
for reconciliation, unlike those that came before me and after your victims of
oppression, I still think it’s too soon. The wounds are still too fresh and ripe;
we as a people have not healed yet. We need to come to terms, get some closure
and at least try to move forward as a people before we start forgiving. I
embrace anger; it helps with the healing process. I don’t expect you to either
care or understand the fact that I am still angry but I forgive you, for the
sake of peace. My peace.
So many things I’m still unhappy
about and so many situations that my people still find themselves in that cause
a hard lump in my throat but oh how therapeutic it has been to write this out
to you. How this has elevated my emotional stability. I do not care for your
thoughts on it, only that I wrote it and that this tension I have held has now
escaped me into the Universe.
Because until we deal with these unresolved emotions, find peace within ourselves, then our understanding of forgiveness will always carry out elements of fear.
Regards,
An Angry Black Woman (1977)
Until next post....
Africa Rising, Peace & Revolution...
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