I just had what is called a DMC with a very good friend of mine. According to her, this is a Direct Meaningful Conversation and we have been having a lot of these lately. Although I was under the impression that all our dialogues are meaningful in at least one way or another, I still appreciate that we dedicate some weekday evenings to have these.
So, where two women meet, there is always danger. Trust me, I warn in kindness. Our topics of choice for the night swam somewhere between love, light, peace, education, success, men, food and ended right back to the same shallow end that it began with- love. We both are at a place where we are trying to figure out this mischief of a word and all the baggage it comes bearing. But what a dreadfully anticipated mystery love can be! Mh
Here is the problem. In this DMC sits two fairly young ladies, entangled in the webs of the education system yet alert to the possible outcomes that this might impose. We realize what we got ourselves into the minute we sent those confirmation letters to the Rhodes student offices and asked that they reserve us seats in this life pursuit, you would think we would be satisfied with things at this stage, but no, we are women, what would we know about satisfaction and such? This currently, is the least of our problems; men seem to sit at the centre of tonight’s DMC.
Let me tell you why we are not satisfied, this friend of mine and I. Or rather, let me attempt to figure it out in this write-in because to be quite honest, I don't think I have all the answers myself right now. I will only tell you that DMC's have possibly become my new favorite activity, they allow one to put so much into perspective and if they are done with an individual wise, smart and honest enough to at least attempt to draw you some direction when you feel like your falling deeper into the maze trap, then hey, all the better.
I give praise to whomever it was that invented DMC's, or at least decided to add a title to the one pasttime that women, the world over have overly over indulged in. By putting titles to these mini random chats, we have come out more unbolted and unchained the fearfulness of what our friends might think of us if we dare expose our deepest darkest, night time secret thoughts. I for one have leaked my heart out like a BP oil spill, I have let everything out into an ocean that is my friend and let my environment or universe suffer the effects of the damage. I left nothing unsaid and no thought unturned, I buried my hopes of my life, career and relationship in her arms as she carefully unpicked the bits and tried to make any sense out of them.
I asked questions that I really did not expect answers to, the common what if that and what if this that’s quick to knock when indifference starts to creep, kept coming into the play of conversation.
"Those are the uncertain uncertainties that you are just going to have to take up on your own friend. The only certain uncertainty I know of is death" came this unexpected answer.
I had to repeat this to myself over and over as I tried to make sense of all the uncertain uncertainties that flooded my mind in that moment. One thing I'm certain of is that women love to talk in little intimate gatherings, not for any specific reasons but because they can. They love to listen to themselves talking about themselves and then inwardly shriek pleasantly at what seems to be some sort of validation of their sense making abilities from their friends, it’s just what and how we do, we can't help it. But seldom does one expect answers in DCM's that force immediate reflection on particular issues that require just as an immediate an action to that reflection.
But in this instance, my friend was not even trying to sound anything more than the natural intellect that she really is. She really was just a woman caught between genuinely helping a friend out, by listening and offering the little feedback she could, in the best way she knew how. And I love her for that. For the fact that she does not pretend to know all the answers but will make the effort to find them out with you.
I thank the Heavens continuously for placing in our paths, the most single rightfully magnified blessings that this life could offer in the form of friendship. Friends I say, are the guardian angels that God sends when He wants to make his presence felt in our lives. These are the life blessings that he handpicks and carefully places along our alleys to help make us understand situations that we are too afraid to confront or deal with.
Lethabo Sekele has been one such Life Angel. Her gentle words of advice weigh tons in impact. She deals with her own uncertain uncertainties but still attends my ceremony of such with dedicated presence. She has sought to seek my unhappiness behind forced smiles, reached towards my heart and left me bear.
If there is another certain uncertainty besides death, that is stacked up next to these uncertain uncertainties I’m forced to deal with. It is that the role of friendship is greatly underestimated and too often we forget to offer these guardian angels the roses that they so heartily deserve.
Until next post,
Africa Rising, Peace & Revolution
No comments:
Post a Comment